Always Late to the School of Horses

Enjoy the time you waste. Waste lots of time.

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I’m crying because they are selling canvases here for 40 pesos when in the US, they would be $15. The conversion rate is around 45pesos:1USD

They are selling $15-$20 canvases for $1.

At the same time, I also feel cheated because one company was selling two paint sets labeled Acrylic and Oil paint, but I bought the oil paints set and they outright lied because it was acrylic.

And I’m pretty sure this turpentine isn’t actually.

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Y’all might wanna read this because there’s a twist at the end.

So my cousin was telling me a story about a couple in her school. Now keep in mind, it’s a small school, isolated in the mountains, so everyone knows everyone. It’s tight like a family.

Anyway, between Robert, the class flirt who mutually ended his last relationship because they both agreed he flirted too much, and Maurice, the half-Swiss European heartthrob who has to stay invisible on Facebook because of sloughs of messages from admirers he doesn’t even know, the one most serious about his own relationship was JK, one of the class bullies. Before even considering dating a girl, he courted her for almost year. I forgot her name so let’s just call her Clara.

He would buy her flowers, take it slow, talk it out, and brought it to a point where they were both in mutual agreement: they wanted to bring their relationship to the next level. They planned to make it official on their courtship anniversary (or whatever you call it?). Everyone was hyped. It was gonna be big, and the whole class was in on it.

This is the part where I remind you that this takes place in a small town, small school, tight like a family.

It happened one day that JK was at a family reunion, with his family of course, meeting other members of his family. He was excited because he was finally going to really ask Clara out in just a few days, maybe two. And who should he happen to see there, at his family reunion, full of people related to him, but his own dear Clara.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her, the horror of revelation refusing to accept itself in his confusion-addled brain.

"Oh, have you met before?" replied a chipper relative.

"JK, meet Clara, your second cousin."

Clara was devastated. JK just cried for a while.

Filed under tales from the philippines

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Managed to get in an internet cafe in Bayawan. It took literally fifteen minutes before the New Text Post page finally loaded and there were toolbars on both their Firefox and Google Chrome. This also isn’t an authorized copy of Windows, but whatever. Everyone but me is playing Left 4 Dead and shouting in Filipino.

Some things I wanted to mention last time but forgot to:

People keep calling me handsome, and I get stared at whenever they think I’m not looking, and there’s this girl I’m convinced has a crush on me, but my cousin said she’s afraid to talk to me too much because her English isn’t good. Instead of being short, I’m also actually average height, maybe a little tall compared to everyone else.

Every time my father takes me somewhere with friends or family, they talk about the fact that I sing and ask me to sing for everyone. And because I’m a guest, cultural hospitality dictates that my family does basically everything for me, even when I’d rather take care of myself, or otherwise not put the burden on them. I don’t like any of this.

On a lighter note, a hermit crab somehow managed to make its way into my room through a hole in the wall. At some point there was a tarantula the size of my open hand on the wall just next to my bed. It disappeared, and while I’m glad it’s not there, I’m terrified because that means it could be anywhere else.

There are lots of goats here, and occasionally horses. Mostly cows, water buffalo, and chickens, but I like goats and horses better. Also, the dude right behind me broke his Filipino to say, in English, “Hastag, real talk.” That made me happier than it should have.

Seriously, though, as much as I can bear being here, I’d really rather be home. Will post again soon, see y’all!

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Hey all! First time I’ve gotten on some internet (but not computer, this is from my ipod touch) since I got here and I hope y’all are doing well. Not really sure what to say, but I guess I’ll post pictures eventually?

Philippines is third world, and I’m staying at my grandparents’ old farm, but thankfully it’s not a case of city-slicker-meets-country life. I’ve been talking with my cousin a lot and it’s really funny exchanging cultural differences (like she’s never heard Little Talks and I have no idea who this one Korean rapper is). She also goes to a totally top-tier school where the people who play chess get way into it- she and her friends can play without a board, just memorizing the positions of pieces and their coordinates. Apparently once while riding a pedicab with friends, one of them misspoke and moved an imaginary piece to the wrong place so everyone legit starts freaking out and laughing at him while he’s over there losing it. The driver actually stopped in the middle of the road and asked they were hallicinating and needed hospital care.

I’m getting by, I guess. I brought both the May Bird books I own, a haelic book, and a PDF of Fallout Equestria. I’ve already reread half of FoE and in one day, I finished the firstl May Bird book. My cousin went back home and I’m terrified of what I’ll do once I finish reading everything.

I wanted to make a joke about there not being enough vaporware, but I’m honestly not even entirely sure what vaporware is. This whole post is sounding early-2000’s sincerily earnest weblogger and I need memes.

Anyways, miss y’all, and I’ll try to get on again soon!

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appelknekten replied to your post: I’m in Korea and I still managed to find an…
What? O.o

It’s an American thing. Very much an American thing.

Are you relaxing, yet?